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Defending Traditional Values So That The Corn May Grow

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STONING OUR NEIGHBORS TO DEATH MAKES THE CORN GROW HIGH, AND ELITIST LIBERALS SHOULD STOP ATTACKING THIS TRADITIONAL VALUE

I ran across this masterpiece of snark by Lincoln Michel thanks to a tweet from Paul Krugman. It captures so many of the ways the conservative messaging machine manipulates minds and distorts reality.

It plays the victim card. It depicts clueless liberals trashing traditional values. It brushes off science and inconvenient facts. It rationalizes really bad behavior. It punctures the media that obsesses over the feelings of those poor misunderstood Trump supporters, as well as the conservative media that cranks this kind of stuff out 24/7. It references the atrocities against Kavanaugh — and does it using a classic piece of American literature.

It does it in just 8 paragraphs. Here’s a sample: 

Lotteries and ritual stoning are integral parts of American life. Whether or not the lottery actually increases the yearly harvest, rural working class Americans think it does. Let me be blunt: liberals who want to abolish ritual murder are the reason that Donald Trump won. If you don’t believe me, please see my last column titled “Rural Trump Voters Are Sticking by the President and Sticking by Stoning People to Death,” as well as this paper’s 100 other articles in which we interview the same handful of Trump voters slash stoning advocates in one midwestern diner over and over and over and over.

Read the whole thing— then indulge in some nervous laughter, because it’s a little too plausible these days...


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